It all started with a trip to BJ's

Last night after having a lovely dinner at Lotus Blossom in Utica and spending some great time with Laura, Amos and the adorable (I mean really cute) Ms. Hazel, D and I went to BJ's in north Utica to get me some coffee beans. That's "get me" literally, not the Idaho "I'm gonna get me," which I swear is residual German left in the dialect.

I needed three things, coffee beans, frozen fruit for my endless ongoing calcium enriched smoothies, and dessert. The problem is that most desserts at BJ's require the presence of 30 or so of your favorite friends for consumption. There are some smaller gems there though and the carrot cake is one of them. At first I thought $9.99 for a cake! But with the raisins (small and tender), the cream cheese (a bit too much frosting on top but I ate it all nonetheless), and the fact that I wanted it "now" (I did not want to go home and bake one) it started to seem like a pretty good deal.

And it was. Now at 7:30 Sunday morning I'm sitting here ready to take the last bite of a piece (not a huge piece, mind you). It's a very satisfying breakfast food, I must say. And weekends and their no holds barred dietary system are a wonderful addition to any life. Of course now that we (the Lost Tribe? the Losters? the Losers?)do Tuesday Lost Nights, they are a wash for dieting, so maybe I shouldn't be eating this cake right now. Too late -- there went the last bite. I hope you enjoyed sharing it with me.

What yummy/crazy/decadent things do you eat on weekends?

MNYAGG

Snow Daze

It sure is white out there. A huge ice floe is traveling down the roof on my back porch, and so I don't let Missy stand there like she often does on her way back in the house. When it slides off it will be noisy. Yesterday in the afternoon it must've been 45 degrees out and all day I listened to the sound of snow thudding off my green metal roof: all day while I lay in bed and watched movies, all day while I made veggie soup and drank coffee and took naps and graded the occasional paper or business letter. It was cozy inside and when I did go out with the reluctant Missy, warm and bright outside. I could do this stuff for a living: relax I mean.

Since today is Saturday the snow blowers haven't started yet at 7:30. Yes, I have those kind of neighbors who get up early to blow, scrape and shovel. Thankfully, one of them blows me; yeah, maybe I didn't mean that the way it sounded.

Today I'm going to propose to my favorite Canadian (besides Celine Dion, of course) that he watch the Olympics and my house. Last night he and a "posse" of friends watched hockey at his house, and even though I knew I would lose a lot of girlfriend points I went home and watched myself drink a little whiskey and fall asleep to a movie on my computer. I guess I am, after all a feminist. Perhaps I am just a crappy girlfriend. Perhaps a little of both.

Missy is officially hatin' it. She wants to check out her entire yard (all 2/3 of an acre) every time she goes out, but the snow's just too deep out there. Today I'm going to shovel her a path, but it won't go far because that stuff is heeeeeaaaavy. A good pet owner would set up a series of interconnected paths with warming stations. I am not that pet owner.

I'm just me.

What are you doing this weekend? We're going to Lotus Blossom on Bleecker St. in Utica for pan Asian delights. This after last night's burger and fries at Creekside Cafe. I guess for middle class 21st century couples the weekend means dining out. I have no problem with that, but I'd better get on that treadmill.

I did walk down to the College Street Cafe in Clinton yesterday and looked at my snow covered little village. As I walked home I thought the following: Life is good; spring is just around the corner. I think maybe it'll be a long wide corner.

Peace Out,
MNYAGG

Well hello winter

I see you're back again. It started snowing night before last and it's still snowing. I suspect there's well over a foot out there. So yesterday I went into work and taught my morning class, after calling the snowline obsessively because I was just sure they'd close SUNYIT. Well, they did, but not until after I'd driven twelve miles through some nasty slushy muck muck. They canceled 2:00 and later classes, so I drove home on by then pretty scary roads with some guy in a pickup truck up my backside, as Patti Doraz would say. But when I got home, I snuggled in with a movie, some Chex mix and chocolates, and some carrot sticks to add a healthy element to my snack.

When I woke up almost an hour later, Emily Watson had gone from being a famous vibrant cellist to being in a wheelchair (Hilary and Jackie), the house was kinda dark for 4:00, and the snow was still coming down. Then I looked out front to see some lunatic shoveling out my driveway and walkway to my house. So I gave him cookies and coffee and later steak; thank you Patrick.

We wound up going to the College Street Cafe and had a great time. And while we were in there the snow continued to fall enough that Patrick had to dig his car out.

Who says winter can't be fun?

And, btw, it's still snowing.

And the snowplow sonata has begun here at 6:10 am in the Village of Clinton, NY.

And when the sun comes out I'm going out to take pictures to post on this blog. Perhaps I should tie a rope around my waist and tether it to the house. Perhaps I should tie one around Missy. Perhaps I should read Willa Cather today.

How's the weather where you live?

MNYAGG

I do about as well with my blog . . .

as I do with the journal that Bistro Tina gave me eight months ago. I have gotten better with my physical journal since I started limiting myself to one page per writing "session".

So, what's new with me? Well, it's still winter here in CNY and I suspect that if it weren't for my prescription vitamin D pills, there would be some nasty classroom encounters in my little world. Vitamin D deficiency makes me an insomniac with a too tired brain and a restless edginess. Have you had your vitamin D levels checked? It's worth learning more about vitamin D deficiency, no matter where you live. Check out http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/time-for-more-vitamin-d.htm to get the scoop.

My classes are going well this semester, my first semester without any administrative duties. I teach a freshman comp, a bus com, and a creative writing class. Ironically, the creative writing class is shy, a first for me. But they've been a bit livelier this week -- thanks David Sedaris.

I am adjusting well (I think) to my recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, and osteoporosis, or as I call it "the triple whammy" or sometimes "the triumvirate of pain." Taking Savella (ooh, I'd better label this word; maybe the company will pay me to post good things about their product) has literally given me my life back. It blocks my brain's "fibromyalgic" (neologism?) response to pain, which is mainly a response that tells my brain everything is painful. No, I don't walk around hurting myself and not knowing it or holding my hand over an open flame; it's not numbness. I am thinking of taking up fire eating, however.

Well, that's it for now. Whatcha been up to readers? That is, if you're still out there? Anybody planning a St. Patty's Day extravaganza? I'm cooking something up.

Bye Ya,
MNYAGG

Ya Know What?

I wanna go for a hike. It's not so snowy that I couldn't, but it's not snowless either. I have a picture of me on a hike during one of southeast Idaho's few green summers. So if I had a magic teleporter I'd take myself to the Mink Creek Trail. Heck, maybe I'd even stand on that rock again in my victory stance.

If you could go for a hike right now where would you go. Jerad can actually do it for reals where he is, but I assume the rest of us are at some stage of cabin fever. So what outdoor location would be yours?

Next up on MNYAGG: when I can calm down enough to write it, a little mini review of the tv show Jersey Shore.

Well, Maybe It's a Christmas Miracle

Over the past few years the feelings that surround Christmas have changed significantly for me. When I moved back to the East is Beast from the West is Best I spent my first few Christmas breaks readjusting: not to being back here, mind you, but to being a more present and active part of the Murphy family. I used to be a guest of sorts, the slightly charismatic self-centered much younger child of four who swooped in for visits and went home to . . .

to, at times a few secrets I was keeping from my family. My troubled marriage, for example, was a secret I held close and guarded carefully. My dissatisfaction with being in a doctoral program that I loved in many ways, but in many other ways was a part of because it was there and I was stuck there.

But things have changed, and since I decided to take a minute and think about Christmas I thought I'd enumerate some of the ways they have changed.

My first few years back here were spent flying to Portland, sometimes on the day after Christmas, to be with Pin and Big. Then I started just staying in NJ for long parts of the break. To a certain degree I was running away from something and running toward something. I was halfheartedly half here. I used to think at times that D and I were so 21st century a couple because he went home to see his family and I went home to see mine. I just had to go to two very different places to see mine, I guess. The result was a pretty schizophrenic Christmas -- part of it spent it the quiet suburban splendor that is NJ, part of it spent in hipster land.

This Christmas may be the last Christmas I spend with Vinnie Murphy, an idea I sometimes fool myself into thinking I'm handling well. It comes in the year I didn't get promoted and my life fell apart. It comes after a time when I couldn't imagine I would ever be happy again, ever again be spilling my guts out in cyberspace like the narcissist I am.

So this is the moment when I take the time to say that I am one lucky person. If I were a religious person I'd say I'm blessed, but I'm not so I'll leave that road untraveled. And I know it's not just luck; I know that I had a lot of help from my peeps, and I did a lot of hard work myself to make things better. So, that's my Christmas attitude this year: things are better and I'm lucky and happy.

Tomorrow I'm gonna post about the Murphy family's delicious Christmas Eve Deli Dinner, a tradition I look forward to with relish (get it?). And I'm gonna ask what your Christmas tradition are, so get ready to respond, that is if anyone reads this thing anymore. For now I'll say Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwansaa, have good one.

MNYAGG

It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas . . .

I know this because despite the fact that it's December 21st I have only two presents bought. I spent the last almost two weeks in NJ and then MA and then Pinhead came back to NY with me. Somewhere in all this I graded about 600 pages of student papers.

I love my family, I love teaching, right now I really love sitting here with this blog for a minute before I have to go out and frantically search for presents.

So as much as I miss them all, especially D and Pin because they went away via plane and train, I really need to take advantage of this time alone and get my butt in gear.

See Ya,
MNYAGG

So, here's an end of the semester list . . .

of things I'm doing to avoid grading.
1) calculating how many papers I have to do per day to get done in time = 6.66
2) blogging about how I'm down to 60 papers
3) complaining to people about how I have 60 papers
4) laughing and crying along with my creative writing students as I read their 20 page memoirs, which are overall really good
5) complaining about how long my creative writing students' memoirs are
6) laughing and crying at my freshmen papers, even though they didn't mean for them to be either sad or funny
7) taking long hot baths and reading Prozac Nation and prowling Facebook to avoid all of the above
Vicious cycle? You be the judge.

I know I'm back because . . .

If you've been anywhere near me for the last half year or so you know that I've been struggling with depression. It started when I got tenure without promotion and it's been a long, hard battle for me to dig myself out of. For a long time, I had neither the energy nor the interest in my own life to blog or do anything else for that matter. One thing I'm proud of is that despite all of my sadness I managed to teach quite well and complain about my students less than ever before.

I'm not going to dwell here, but I'll say that 1) it's been tough, the toughest thing I've ever dealt with, and 2) I learned what it means to have to struggle through something alone because despite the fact that many love me (I'm lucky that way) it really came down to me having to get myself to where I could want to help myself, and 3) for me depression has extra nasty connotative value because my mother acquired (geriatric onset) bipolar disorder at 72 and as I get older I worry. That is worried, since even though I was depressed I experienced nothing like mania, no poles here.

So, I'm starting to come back, and here's a list of ways I know I'm starting to come back:
-- I'm posting on my blog
-- I'm singing again. Yesterday it was MacArthur Park with Walter, who cannot sing (Hey, he says it. I'm not being mean). I don't really know any of the words, and it's possible that MacArthur Park might be the stupidest song ever written, but once a semester I sing it with Walter. Soon we'll read A Nocturnal Upon St. Lucy's Day, another tradition.
-- Beyond singing, I'm singing stupid songs that I make up spontaneously, not in public. Today (yeah this is embarrassing and slightly offensive, but it's part of my "therapy") it was "Take a poop, take a poop, take a . . . " well, you can finish the line yourselves (if anybody ever reads this, that is)
-- I am petting the dog more and calling her Stinkerfuss.
-- Lena said "we should have a solstice reading" and I didn't want to automatically say no.
-- I'm pretty pissed about not getting promotion for what I consider incredibly shitty reasons, but I don't feel humiliated anymore. And I think it's good that I'm mad about it but not obsessively so.
That's it for now. Jerad, if you're still out there, thanks so much for the kindness and encouragement. Sarahbear, I'm coming soon. I miss you too.
Keep the Peace,
Oh and one more super peace out thought that I'll leave you with:
Fuck the New York state Senate for defeating a gay marriage bill yesterday when the majority of New Yorkers (yes, it's a small majority, but a majority nonetheless) support gay marriage. We can spend billions of dollars to go places and shoot people, but we can't acknowledge the civil rights of our own citizens?
MNYAGG

Am I back?

Maybe. Maybe it's time to turn this gig around. Upbeat -- that's the goal. Making a deal -- if I blog can I please have some sunshine in return?

I have two days left to teach this semester -- two days!

I didn't get it all done; so what else is new?

Well, that was my warmup. If anybody responds I'll post the mincemeat story from Thanksgiving.

Hey Blog, S'up?

Dear Blog,
You miss me.
I miss you.
That's the way it's gonna be for awhile, I think.

Ya know sometimes things just don't work out

So here I am in front of D's computer, having been up for hours coughing, spewing and hacking. I'm basically killing time until Urgent Care opens at 9:00 so I can find out whether or not I have Swine Flu. Yes, me the most stubborn thickheaded clod of an I'm in denial -- I've finally given in. I clearly have -- and have had for a week -- some kind of flu. Two things are at play with going to the doctor. One, I feel D_U_M_B even saying "gosh I think I may have Swine Flu": two, I'll feel horrible if I do, like I ought to round up all my students and loved ones and dip them in bleach simultaneously.

House Painting?

Well, next Saturday's the scheduled day for house painting, so I'm trying to round up a posse. The glitch is that the weather forecasts a 40% chance of rain. I will compare the place I live now to the place I used to live -- Pocatello, Idaho. In Idaho 40% meant it probably wouldn't rain. Here it seems to mean that it might rain buckets, maybe small maybe big ones. What am I gonna do?

Lemme just say . . .

two things. Greetings from Ithaca, NY, and -- if I lived here I would be huuuuuuuuuuge! I mean Fusillo (for you CNY locals) huge, but I don't mean car selection. Soon I will be posting:
- a detailed description of all the amazing things I've eaten (and the great coffee I've consumed) in the past two days, for those who appreciate everything from pastries to Thai food
- a photo montage (done my way, so expect a little weirdness) of Ithaca at 7:15 on Sunday morning
Predictably, both will be as much about me as they are about the place I'm in. After all, that's why I have a blog.
Peace
MNYAGG (and the now sleeping D)

The other white Utica

When I was in that kingdom far ago and long away, the one that I call Idaho, people often thought I was moving to Ithaca, NY. Most folks have heard of Ithaca, fewer of Utica (or Beautica as I like to call it.

Well, I moved to Utica, yes, but this weekend I'm going to Ithaca. I have a list of things we want to eat (D and I loooooooove to eat), and yeah we'll do some active stuff too, like walk from the Thai restaurant to the bakery. I jest.

Anybody know any really good restaurants and/or stuff to do in Ithaca?

MNYAGG

I wish I had time to blog , sigh

But I don't right now. I'm teaching an overload and trying to spend time with a certain handsome boyfriend. I'm also taking time to do things like clean my shed (Saturday) hook up my desktop (this morning), and continue ridding myself of old clothes by ferreting out things I no longer wear with a vengeance -- a vengeance I tell you!!!!
So if anyone's still out there, please give a shout out and tell me how you are -- just as busy as I am, I suspect.
Cheers,
PS: Missy goes to the vet on Sept. 11. Briana and I are convinced she has cataracts. I hope we're wrong.
More Later, I Hope

LOST in LOST

I shouldn't admit it but I'll be spending a ridiculous amount of my spare time rewatching LOST, which I watched when I had the two ruptured discs last fall. Apparently I missed an awful lot of what happened since I would fall asleep and then think I'd watched more of an episode than I had.

Don't think that this endeavor will get in the way of my dedication to my career -- oh no. I'll still be grading those papers, prepping for class, all that stuff. Maybe my creative writing class should be based on watching LOST and writing creative non fiction about it. Surely there have been MLA panels on the show. Anyway, gotta go -- season 1, episode 4.

Okay, I'm writing on the blog

but really I got nothin'. I start work today for reals, meaning the "with students" kind of work. I'm pretty excited. The first week is always fun and exhausting.

Yesterday I watched Missy trying to eat tomatoes off the vine in my backyard. So for those of you who have known me long enough to remember me saying that deer always get my tomatoes, I'm rethinking that one. Sometimes Missy goes out in the backyard at night and stays there for a while, so now, after all these years, I'm putting two and two together -- genius, huh?

For those of you who call and then tell me you like the opposable thumbs part of my phone message, don't you agree that really she doesn't need them after all? As long as I grow things that she can pilfer once I turn my back on her, she ought to be happy.

I guess I'll post my first day of work song so you can have an insider view of what's going on in my head this first day of the semester:

Overture, curtains, lights,
This is it, the night of nights
No more rehearsing and nursing a part
We know every part by heart
Overture, curtains, lights
This is it, you'll hit the heights
And oh what heights we'll hit
On with the show this is it

Tonight what heights we'll hit
On with the show this is it

And if you want to look at it like I just did: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpnbyDT9-qA

That's all folks!

Well, what did I expect?

If ya don't post on your blog people stop reading it. So, new goal (added to a list of many goals that are part of Pat reformation) = post more. Too bad I'm so boring, but here's a little tidbit that's had me tingling (just a little) since my roommate told me about it:
The National are coming to Hamilton College!
I can't verify when on their website, but even if it turns out not to be true just the thought is exciting.
Other news: CCK restaurant in Albany still has a-kickin' food, but the crispy duck on taro wasn't as good as usual. Oh well, anybody can have an off night. D learned about a bakery on Lark Street, so yours truly has a nutella croissant waking for later. I found the perfect shoes at DSW, but I'm trying to beat the price on the Internet.
Oh yeah, and I start teaching tomorrow, so it's back to my version of professional dress. I will feel itchy and constrained in clothes that approximate professional attire. Well, that's life and there are worse things a person could have to do.

One last tidbit. Missy, at her advanced age, has revived a heinous behavior from the past and peed on B's (new roomie's) bed the other night. Super! I thought we were over that. She probably wanted to pee on my bed but the door to upstairs was closed. Abandonment issues suck! Lord knows what she'll do when I go back to work for reals tomorrow. She seems unsettled all the time and extra needy. Perhaps I can get her in a creative writing class and she can work out some issues. Maybe she'll become some canine Sylvia Plath. And, btw, she farts all the time lately; I mean more than usual.

What's been new with you?

Back to Work

Well, it's that time of year again, when summer ends and academicians everywhere drag their sorry butts back to work. I'm getting pretty excited about going back to work, even though our rainy weather makes me still feel cheated out of summer. I'm teaching an overload, so I'll be inundated with freshpeople. My other class is creative writing, something I always look forward to warily. After all, I've never actually taken a creative writing class myself, so it's the area of writing I have the least pedagogical training in. Oh well, I have some great essays for my students to read, including the entire Me Talk Pretty One Day. It was a toss up between that and The Glass Castle, a book that is ultimately uplifting but too sad and disturbing for my fragile little psyche right now.

I'll give a bronchitis update -- I'm doing better but last night I made the poor decision to forego cough medicine. I had to take it at 5:00 in the a.m. -- live and learn.

Today D and I are going to Albany. You might think wow that must mean your syllabi are done, and you'd be partially correct. I'm suffering from feast not famine in the form of so many good essays for my prose non fiction class. Well, it's better than the alternative.

I always start my creative writing classes with "The Learning Curve" which Sedaris begins with the following:
"A year after my graduation from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, a terrible mistake was made and I was offered a position teaching a writing workshop."

I am like Sedaris, well intentioned but without a pedagogy. Thank goodness I have the imagination to come up with oddball writing exercises to get students engaged and started. And thank goodness for folks who share their stuff by putting it on the Internet.

So whether you're going back to work or you never left it, how, my friends, are you spending this weekend? I'll be throwing in a little (joke if you've seen my lawn) lawn mowing tomorrow just for shits and giggles.

Here's the first shout out for house painting. I'd like to try to get the painting crew together for the weekend after Labor Day. Here's the deal--I supply the paint and brushes (duh!) and the pizza, beer, soda, wine (or other food that I'll prepare if people tell me what they want). I also supply the house with the new roof (yay!) that badly needs painting. We paint until everybody realizes that they don't really like me that much and can't imagine why they volunteered in the first place. Sounds like a good deal, doesn't it?

P.S. new goal for self: get back to blogging more often.
Happy Weekend!
Murf